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Roshni Olivera (BOMBAY TIMES; January 8, 2020)It’s been an eventful decade for Deepika Padukone. She has had a number of successful films to her credit, made her foray into Hollywood opposite Vin Diesel in xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017) and turned producer. On the personal front, too, she is in a happy space and seems a lot more comfortable revealing her quirky side to the world. The new year has begun on a busy note for the actress with her film, Chhapaak, directed by Meghna Gulzar, set to release in a couple of days. In a chat with BT, she talks about playing Malti, her most emotionally challenging role till date, how she has evolved as a person over the years and why she wants to do a contemporary, light-hearted film with husband Ranveer Singh. Excerpts...
You have experienced a range of emotions from the time you started shooting for Chhapaak, to the promotions recently, when you broke down on stage. How would you describe this emotional roller-coaster ride?This has been my most challenging film, emotionally. There was a lot of preparation before we began shooting — look tests, working on the prosthetics, costumes and readings with co-actors and Meghna. I also spent time with Laxmi (Agarwal, the acid attack survivor, who is the inspiration behind her character). But, for a film of this nature, you can never be fully prepared. How do I prepare myself for that moment when acid is thrown on my face? I can imagine that it happened in a certain way, but I can only live it between ‘action’ and ‘cut’. I have had many of those moments of highs and lows, which took a toll on my mental health as well.
How did you cope with that?I remember on the second day of shoot, I had a panic attack. We were doing the prosthetics when I had the attack because I’m claustrophobic. I broke into a sweat and could feel the blood rushing through my feet, and I remember saying to myself, ‘I can’t do this’. Throughout the film, I was breathing through one nostril because of the prosthetics. I couldn’t eat properly because I couldn’t open my mouth completely. And then, there was the emotional journey. Having said that, I was willing to go through it all because this was a story we had to tell. That was more important than what I had to live with for a few hours every day. Whenever I felt low or vulnerable, I would think about Laxmi and the other survivors, who have been through so much, and that would help me pull through the day.
Meghna has said that you were her only choice for this role...When a director says that he/she would not have made a film without a particular actor, there is no bigger compliment for that actor. Often in Indian cinema, we make films with roles that are replaceable. Isko nahin toh usko lo, usko nahin to kisi aur ko lo. I’m glad that today, we are getting to a point where films are written in a certain way, where characters are so special that either you make it with a cast that you have in mind or you don’t make it at all. When Meghna narrated this script to to me, I was instantly drawn to the subject. What I was also drawn to was her honesty. I could see her sincerity, sensitivity and a great sense of responsibility. I had seen all of these things in her movie, Talvar (2015). It was incredible the way that movie was made — it was such a fragile topic and it was made at a time when the people on whom the film was based were still in custody. Films like these engage you, make a point, and at the same time, are entertaining. It’s difficult to find a director who can strike that balance.
What is your biggest takeaway from your interaction with Laxmi?I admire her spirit. Also, her ability to articulate her thoughts and feelings. She is honest, candid, confident and has a great sense of humour. She has beautiful hair, too.
Often, the punishment given in an acid attack case is far less compared to the gravity of the crime. Procuring acid is also easy in our country. Do you hope that your film will initiate a major debate that will address these issues?I hope the film resonates with people at multiple levels, whether it’s pertaining to the legal system, the sale of acid or how we look at women who’ve suffered an acid attack. We tend to treat the survivors as disabled; they don’t have any disability and it’s important for us as a society to recognise that.
Now that you have turned producer with this film, do you look at things differently? As an actor, you must have had a different perspective...Actually, I have had a couple of people tell me in the past that I would make a good producer. Dinesh Vijan (filmmaker) was the first person to tell me that. He would say, ‘Deepu, one day we will become partners and I’ll make a cabin for you in my office’. At that point, I didn’t think I would produce a film someday. But now when I look back, I remember how during Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani (2013), I would ask Karan Johar (producer) why he was giving Ayan Mukerji (director) so much liberty with the budget and why he was allowing him to do recce at different places. I think somewhere, I was always interested in what goes on behind the scenes as much as what happens in front of the camera.
Would you agree that when actresses start doing author-backed roles, they end up getting slotted, and are not offered other kind of roles?Yes, it’s totally possible, so it all depends on the choices one makes. Like the next film I’m doing is a romantic thriller, which is very different from what I have done so far. I have been offered many sports biopics, too, but I haven’t decided on that, yet.
It has been a year since Ranveer and you tied the knot. What are the changes that you see in Ranveer and in yourself? In fact, he recently said that he has become a good boy now, he wakes up early and gets back home on time...He’s not there yet, but he does try! We have both rubbed off on each other in different ways. I’d like to believe that I have brought in a little more professionalism and discipline into his life. I think he would like to believe that he has brought out the quirky side of me, though I think I have always been like that, it’s just that people saw it in spurts. There is an extremely goofy and funny side to me, which only close friends got to see earlier. Now, when I sometimes show that side of my personality to others, people feel that he has rubbed off on me, which is also a great thing. Ranveer and I support and encourage each other... especially his dressing sense! In a way, there are not many changes from the time we were dating, except that now, we come home to each other. Professionally, we make our own decisions and personally, we decide everything together. For us, it’s been important from the beginning that we retain our own identities. People around us often forget that we are married, which I think is a good thing. Ranveer and I are together and at the same time, we are our own people.
You probably always had that quirky side to you, but the general perception is that you have opened up more post marriage...Maybe I’m showing it a lot more now. If you ever speak to my school friends, they will tell you that I was a brat. My mother will tell you how, as a child, I was never at ground level; I was always jumping or climbing somewhere. There is a boisterous side to me, which, in all of my so-called elegance, people missed seeing.
Like some of your contemporaries who got married, do you also face questions about when you plan to start a family?No! I have not been asked this question ever, which is refreshing.
What about doing more movies with Ranveer? There was buzz that you’ve turned down three films together..There is no truth to that at all.
The reports said that the two of you didn’t want to get over-exposed as a couple...We don’t think like that at all. We would rather think whether a film warrants the two of us to come together. Again, that’s not a decision for us to make, it’s for the director to decide. We have not been offered anything like that together, though it was refreshing to work with him in ‘83 after having worked in three films, where we die in the end! I hope we get to do more films, maybe something more contemporary and lighter. It’ll be nice for someone to explore our on-screen combination in a different way from what everyone has seen so far.
We’ve just entered a new decade. How do you look back at the decade that’s gone by, a period which was fabulous for you professionally?I feel gratitude. Nothing fell into my lap, I have worked hard to reach where I am, and to be a part of the kind of films that I get to do today. I want to constantly learn, grow and evolve. I also used the criticism that came my way, constructively. And, I am thankful for the goodwill and support that I got.
Do you feel that you have grown as a person, too?Yes. I don’t think I was the same person even seven years ago. Every film, every experience, every success, failure, criticism and praise has led me to where I am today. It allows me to grow further, think, express and take risks.
On the personal front, we recently saw a beautiful picture that you posted of Ranveer and you with your Christmas tree. Did you decorate it yourself?Absolutely. I love doing up my house and if there’s one thing that Ranveer loves about me, it is that I am house-proud. He is always trying to wrap his head around how I manage to multitask at work and I’m still able to put up a Christmas tree, set up the table and put up the wreath. I have always been like this. My mother says that she doesn’t entertain guests anymore because I am not around to help her.
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